The Good Life before the Good Wife
A group of young women posed a question about intimacy in marriage to a wise woman. After seeming perplexed, she turned to us and asked “Are any of you married or planning to be in the near future?” The answer was a resounding NO! She then asked “So how is this a matter of concern for you all right now?”
This blew my mind. It showed me that as a woman waiting for Mr. Who God Chose For You (not Mr. Right or the one you liked and asked God for), there are certain stages that we should focus on in developing ourselves to be wives.
The age old adage rings true… You cross that bridge when you reach to it.
Many times I feel exasperated by the amount of YouTube videos that’s shared on marriage…men…love…the list goes on. This is by no means from a point of bitterness because I’m single, just from a point of feeling overwhelmed, because sometimes it seems like we fixate so much on marriage and all that it entails; that we bombard ourselves with videos and information ahead of the stage where we’re at. Instead, we need to focus on developing who we are at this point in time.
Fast forward to a couple days ago, yet another video was shared with me but this time I really only watched it based on the person who sent it. I trusted that this person would not send anything that would make me roll my eyes and fling my phone in exasperation. While I was halfway through the video I thought to myself “A a! but this person must be my twin!”. Everything she said was more or less how I thought and what had been developed within me and it made me reflect on the fact that all of my thoughts on the matter were given to me by revelation from Jesus. I didn’t watch a YouTube video; I wasn’t told anything directly; it wasn’t an article I read; it was time observing and listening to people; talking to God about the matter of marriage and how I felt in my heart.
I can only speak for myself, but I remember the woman that I was 5 years ago. Even though there was someone who was ready and willing to marry me, I would have been a nightmare. But I also remember that I had purposed to be a Godly wife and since that moment I know I have seen God develop my thinking and develop my heart towards what being a Godly wife would entail. Yes, I do watch a lot of YouTube videos and I’ve read quite a few articles, but it has always been in tandem with the revelations that God would give me because my heart was laid up in being a Godly wife.
Now there’s still a lot to be desired and many lessons yet to learn but what remains with me is that once you purpose to serve Him, God will use and develop what’s inside of you in whichever way it needs to be for His glory, so I have no fear going forward.
The thing is, in my estimation, if you purpose to be a Godly wife then the first stage is naturally to develop a Godly character. If God’s intention is for a marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church, then you have to first get deeply connected with Christ’s love. You have to sit with him and feel what it is to be loved unconditionally, so that when Mr. Who God Chose For You comes along, he will find a heart that has been laid up for Christ’s love; that is filled up with it, consumed by it and on fire with it. He will find a heart that can now love him in a way that exudes God’s plan for marital love.
So ladies stick with the stages, start at stage 1. Start by loving the Lord with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind and as you move up the ranks you will be moving with a foundation that will guide the whole journey.
#donotrush #goodlifegoodwife #stickwiththestages